Are you living a secret double life? What are your reasons for change?
It sometimes takes a deterioration in the partners state of health and/or their personal anguish to finally give the ultimatum
“Sign up to the programme or else.”
The burning need for change becomes an instant priority when the partner becomes the conscience, judge and jury of the offending person. This pressure however can normalize over time and has the potential to become a defence which can be used to avoid transparency and accountability, making it easy to return to ones drug of choice.
Recovery can therefore become sidetracked by the lack of a coherent plan of action by all concerned.
A strong incentive for ongoing accountability and continued growth can be achieved when a couple or individual commit to an Arrangement of Integrity with the therapist observing quality outcomes. This could also involve a nominated party for the purposes of reporting recovery outcomes to an organization. This form of mediation has proved invaluable in the past, as all parties are on the same level playing field working towards definable and achievable goals.
Beyond initial assessment, each person should develop a recovery toolbox, where skills are crafted and change is consistently monitored throughout the Living and Loving Programmes. This becomes an excellent way of communicating change while celebrating the growth in relational trust.