Traumatized, angry and confused, Joan, with a look of anguish told her therapist,

“We had it all, great careers, holiday batch, church, community and friends galore. Please tell me why? Why would my husband destroy it all, why?”

The crisis of sexual betrayal and his revealed false intimacy that Paul was caught in, is sadly characteristic of an addictive phenomenon facing society today. While the wide spread use and easy access of pornography can act as an accelerant to this phenomenon, it is interesting to note that the main users of prostitution in New Zealand are mainly married men whose partners have no knowledge of their sexual exploits.

So what about Paul? What happened in Paul’s life that created false intimacy and problematic sexuality in the first place, that then led to him living a double life?

Paul, along with his wife, discovered the value of completing a detailed assessment of problematic sexuality and completed the Living and Loving Freely programme. Both had marriage counselling while Joan attended the partner support group, which addressed betrayal recovery. After hard work, consistency and resolve, both are enjoying an authentic relationship of living and loving freely within their marriage.